Third because I should be very, very mad. Yet what was I thinking about I thought about the money, and most of all the sick nasty pleasure I got from having this kind of filthy sex with 30 different men.I swear I hated myself I was thinking about every thing that happen to me since I had arrived. Remembering the position I was in, a position with no control over my life. And then the wonderful feeling I received from the sex I had been doing. I was getting turned on from the memories of all those nasty things. I knew I did not take on this job for the reasons that Bud told the men or told me for that matter. All I wanted to do was, give an honest days work, for an honest days pay. But this extra money, and for what, sex? For pleasure like I had never felt in my life?I caught myself saying all this to my self. I know it now; I am going crazy; here I was arguing with myself convincing myself that this was all OK. After all, they did need some kind of attention, and besides as long as. ] Sherry was in the band and had started dating the clarinetist sitting next to her, a nice, gangly boy, Joseph, both very innocent and virtuous, not far along in dating, kissing and cuddling, waiting for the other to advance to second base. Sherry was about 5’ 4”, plain, straight brown hair, a little thick waisted, modest tits, not much hips, not a movie star or stripper material but wholesome. I mean, nobody really thinks their sister is all that hot. We mainly ignored each other, it annoyed her I would once again be at the same school with her the next year. She had her driver’s license, I did not, and she was truly annoyed when my parents told her to go pick me up from football practice.I was an honor student, football player, saxophonist in the band, a good number of friends, no girlfriend. I was shy, like my sister, not overly attractive, big – about 6’ and 240 lbs. though more big boned than fat. I had, though, discovered masturbation and practiced it with far greater.
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